How well you demonstrate personal insight and self-awareness in a job interview may spell the difference between moving on to the second round of interviews or receiving the dreaded response, “Thank you, but we are not moving forward with you as a candidate.”

Daniel Goleman’s book Working with Emotional Intelligence defines Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” Employers want to see evidence of emotional competence in five key areas:

• Self-Awareness – emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment, self-confidence
• Self-Regulation – self-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, innovation
• Motivation – achievement drive, commitment, initiative, optimism
• Empathy – understanding and developing of others, service orientation, leveraging diversity, political awareness
• Social Skills – influence, communication, conflict management, ability to inspire and guide others, initiate or manage change, build bonds, collaborate and cooperate, and create a team.

Consider this: Emotional intelligence will probably determine your career success much more than your technical excellence or your educational experience. Okay, so Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are hugely successful, extremely smart, and have honed their survival skills. But many other individuals are extremely successful due primarily to their exceptional people skills.

Such skills are not incidental to your success as you move through your career, they are essential!

Poor interpersonal skills have derailed many a promising career. Honed people skills are indispensable both on the job and when you are seeking a job. Fortunately, people skills can be learned.

How? Think of it this way: Your career path is built on relationships, and your advancement up the career ladder may depend on those relationships. Successful networking, building relationships, and fostering connections greatly affect your career opportunities in positive ways.

The number one rule of relationship-building is reciprocity. Good relationships are mutual. In Dig Your Well Before You Are Thirsty, author Harvey Mackay suggests that something as simple as exchanging business cards when attending events like seminars, business conventions, etc. is an act everyone can easily do. However, Mackay makes the point that the key to this is not the number of cards you exchange but the quality of the exchange. For example: Why not “up” the encounter by bringing a camera or your cell phone to take photos of the people you meet. Then send them the photos so they can be uploaded to Facebook or LinkedIn. The photo can also help you remember this person in a more vivid way than that of a perfunctory exchange.

Another rule: Take the time to help a job-seeking colleague connect to others.  Think of resources and connections, offer introductions and share information. In turn, your active network will make it infinitely easier for you to ask for help when you need a job. 

A network is about relationships, not contacts. Being generous with coworkers, friends, and job seekers is critical to your moving forward along your career path.

For executives in Goleman’s research, close to 90% of their leadership success was attributable to emotional intelligence, whereas unsuccessful executives consistently demonstrated two traits: rigidity and poor relationships. Although Emotional Intelligence is difficult to measure, there are ways to show you’ve got the traits employers want:

• Self-control: Provide examples of when you’ve stayed composed under stress. Prized characteristics are control of emotions, and the ability to stay calm and be dependable in crisis situations.
• Conscientiousness: Be able to demonstrate how you’ve learned from feedback and taken action to change your behavior when required and to fix problems. Goleman’s unsuccessful executives often reacted to failure and criticism defensively, denying or passing the blame on to others rather than taking responsibility for their mistakes and failures.
• Trustworthiness: Particularly in light of recent corporate scandals, employers want to see evidence of a high level of integrity. Placing the needs of subordinates and colleagues and getting the job done above personal gain are key ways to demonstrate this attribute.
• Social skills: Be sincere in your relationships with others, demonstrating empathy, sensitivity, consideration and tact in all dealings with superiors and subordinates.
• Building bonds and leveraging diversity: Successful executives demonstrate an ability to build strong networks of diverse, cooperative, and mutually beneficial relationships.

Your interpersonal skills depend on your ability to focus on others and to look at things from their perspective. When looking for a job, you must be able to look at it from the point of the employer and demonstrate that you are the right person for the job. Your ability to make the strong case as to why an employer should hire you depends on this complex interplay of emotional intelligence. This means understanding an employer’s needs, demonstrating your track record and skills, and formulating a compelling value proposition. All of these require good interpersonal skills.

In that next job interview, be prepared to demonstrate your EQ and provide responses that demonstrate a high level of personal awareness, flexibility, and capacity to build positive relationships.

Need help with your job search? Contact Program Manager Julie Swaner, (801) 585-5036.

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